During most of 1998, my wife and I were hosts to an exchange student, Per Ovynd Haga of Oslo. Being of sound mind and growing teenaged body, he became friendly with the local cuisine as served from boutique establishments such as Chez McDonalds and La Taco Belle. Many a night he eschewed the culinary delights of our home for the bright lights and seductive smells of Cantina Poco Loco or Pollo Loco or some such. Thus was born a California Fast Food Fanatic with a Norwegian accent.

Last October, while attending a conference in Sweden, I took a day trip by train to Oslo to see Per and meet his family. Meeting the family of someone you have come to know is always interesting. Dare I tell his mother and father about Per's secret desires? Would they understand the allure of bagels and burritos? Is pizza still a staple in his diet? With herring instead of pepperoni?

As I departed, Per took me aside. When I get back to California, he asked, could I please send him some burritos from his favorite Mexican restaurant, Asada. Burritos by mail? Would they remain eatable? Would they even make it through the journey? A challenge was thrown down, would I accept it?

Of course I did. Timing would be critical, not only from the standpoint of delivery but getting them into the system. We decided on sending them as a Christmas present, along with the millions of others flowing through the delivery systems of the world. The thought was that the delivery services would be making special efforts to clear their packages marked for Christmas delivery. While a logistics nightmare, this is the time of year that can also be the most profitable in customer satisfaction and that translates into repeat business for the rest of the year.

Four Asada burritos were purchased ($20), swathed in multiple layers of plastic wrap and aluminum foil to maintain some potential for freshness. They were then packed in a standard shipping box, labels and FedEx documents were attached, and on Dec. 21 they were dropped off at a FedEx pick-up station, marked for priority (I thought overnight) international delivery. The clerk assured me they would be there in time for Christmas.

We never heard from Per, that he got his gift or that they were still "fresh" two days after being prepared. We waited and waited. Nothing. A flurry of e-mails went out in hopes that Per hadn't been stricken with burrito-itis or some such illness. No response.

I called FedEx to track the package and found, to my horror, that it was delivered on December 29, eight days after the carefully prepared delicacies were made. Rocks in a box came to mind. No wonder they were not responding. The whole family was probably insulted beyond belief by getting a package of evil- smelling, mold-covered "things."

A week later, I received the bill. The total was $65 for shipping four burritos. Four very-stale-when-they-got-there burritos. I called the usually friendly and helpful FedEx customer service agent and asked why they had been delayed so long. That's when I found out why companies use e-mail and electronic methods for transferring anything they can. FedEx told me I actually got better service than I deserved since they only guarantee five working days for such delivery. And since the courier doesn't work on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or weekends, the box got there a day early. I was waiting to hear they were going to charge me more for that.

The mystery was cleared up. Not being used to overseas delivery, I should have asked more questions, known more about the holidays in the receiving country, and known better than to send perishables by any means but hand delivery. I didn't, but I do now. It was an expensive lesson, those $85 burritos. And I still don't know if Per ever figured out what they were since he hasn't sent me a note. Hope he didn't drop them on his foot and break a toe!

—Tom Inglesby, Editor

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