OR/MS Today - April 1999 - Something I Said

April 1999

In Praise of the Unknown and Uncertain

By Vijay Mehrotra

"It seems like only yesterday, I gazed through the glass
At ramblers, wild gamblers; that's all in the past."

— Steely Dan, "Deacon Blues"

"Don't you ever ask them why / If they told you would cry.
Just look at them and sigh / And know they love you."

— Crosby, Stills and Nash, "Teach Your Children Well"

Nearly five years have gone by, but I recall vividly the day that I called my parents to say that I was going to quit my job to start a company. They had a lot of anxiety. What was wrong with my current (steady) job at the (nice and stable) 120-person consulting firm? Didn't I need a lot more experience? Did I understand how hard it was to run a business? What was our plan, anyway?

I paid them no mind.

I first heard about it a couple of years ago. From the beginning, I don't even pretend to hide my anxiety about the whole thing. "A restaurant?! An Indian restaurant in Duluth? Mom, are you kidding me?!" I am immediately overcome with visions of long hours, fickle customers, unkind reviews from surly critics, unreliable janitorial contractors, bad money invested after good, retirement funds put at risk, health troubles, years of struggle leading to tears of anguish, ultimately culminating in a failure that is both sad and nearly inevitable, for the odds against any restaurant are alarming.

She doesn't listen.

Listening to my parents worry, I was more annoyed than grateful. Looking back, there are many clear reasons that their concerns were neither heard nor heeded. First, I hated the project that I had been marooned on at my job. As a junior consultant, getting assigned to a project can be like being "shanghaied" onto a sailing ship: You don't know how you got there, where you are going, why you are going there, or how long it's going to take. In my case, I was soon able to figure out that I was carrying coals to Newcastle on a rickety ship that was full of leaks, for we were tasked to deliver an ill-conceived software solution to a client who neither needed or wanted what I was struggling night and day to try to deliver. I was desperate to find a way out, and this type of hunger is a powerful motivator.

Secondly, I was entering into this venture with two friends from graduate school; bright, talented and hard-working people who have been tremendous partners to this day. (Vijay's career advice: Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you and whom you actually like.) Also, we were in Silicon Valley, where everyone knows someone who has started a company or worked at a start-up. There were plenty of people around to offer advice and listen to ideas: this helped to de-mystify the process.

Thirdly, we had a customer before we started. Even though the client's commitment to us was small, it served as a point of focus for us, providing both cash flow and an initial sense of mission.

Finally, there was the lure of the unknown and the excitement that comes with not really knowing what you are doing. We had a sense that we would learn a lot quickly.

The talk continues, and I hear about it in trickles. Mom is now part of a team of four that is planning to launch this restaurant. As they make plans, they start doing catering jobs, gaining experience and building a reputation around town. She tells me frankly how tired she is of her job at the hospital, and how much fun she is having with this restaurant project. My sister and I are amazed that this notion has simply not gone away.

More than anything else, what my parents were expressing to me was a sense of trepidation that comes from unfamiliarity. I was young, enthusiastic, idealistic and strangely confident, but "there are more thing on Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamed of in your philosophy" and what did I know about that? What kinds of tough spots would I wander into? What kinds of people would I encounter, and how would they try to take advantage of me? What kinds of risks would we face? How would I cope with the difficulties, financial and psychological, that accompany these risks? And how could they help, being far away, without deep pockets, and even less experienced in this domain?

Over the last five years, my parents and I have both learned some things. For my part, I now have an appreciation of why they were worried back then, having dealt with the inevitable ups and downs that come with running a small business today. I am also grateful that they have offered compassion and perspective, rather than indifference or I-told-you-sos, during the times that I have struggled.

My parents, in turn, have seen our company survive and grow over time. They have grown more tolerant — if not totally comfortable — with the unknowns. They no longer equate unknown or uncertain situations with bad outcomes. I can only wish for the same sense of acceptance from tenured professors who express concern — and in some cases, scorn — when their newly minted Ph.D. students head down unfamiliar career paths. Stay in touch, keep watching them, keep encouraging them. Who knows where they may go and what insight you might gain from them?

The restaurant will be opening soon. My mom and her group have formed a corporation, signed a lease on a building, purchased kitchen equipment. They are now looking for staff, sorting out the menus, and trying to figure out what to name the restaurant. I'm still nervous about the whole thing, but I've accepted that this is something that my mother really wants to do. I'm not sure how I can help, but I wish her well in the venture.

I'm looking forward to eating there.

Vijay Mehrotra is the CEO of Onward Inc., an operations management consulting firm in Mountain View, Calif. He holds a Ph.D. in operations research from Stanford University and can be reached via e-mail at vijay@onward-net.com.

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